Ever been stuck in your story?
I got into an argument this morning with someone I care about. I was absolutely justified in my reaction to being treated poorly, in giving as good as I got, so why did I feel like I was going to crawl out of my skin?
As I left the house and drove to church, my ego was having a field day with “how dare he” pronouncements. You know…how dare he behave that way toward me? How dare he (fill in the blank). I knew I was right to consider his behavior unacceptable, proud that I spoke up for myself, but unsettled by not being able to let go of the anger; in fact, I felt almost sick from it.
That is, until Rev. Steve (Unity minister extraordinaire) gave his sermon, or lesson for the day. Spot on, Steve! All about the ego and its tendency to run amok. My God…I was reliving that spat over and over, getting more worked up each time, until Steve brought me back to my senses. His words and the music being sung, encouraged me to remember that I have a choice here: I can continue down the path of blame and anger (satisfying as that is!), or I can forgive…forgive myself first for getting so worked up and secondly, forgiving the person I had the disagreement with…I mean really forgiving.
Nothing about this morning’s argument felt anything near like being “in the flow;” so I kept looking for a little bit of relief…moving bit by bit up the emotional guidance scale (a la Abraham-Hicks) until I was no longer swimming upstream, no longer wearing myself out.
This morning I was given an opportunity to choose: dis-ease? Or ease?
With gratitude and love.
©Maria K. Benning