Kundalini Chaos

In 2005 when I was in the midst of a kundalini awakening (which I knew nothing about at that point), I wondered at times if I had gone insane. I was quite familiar with the DSM-III-R, having my Master’s in Counseling, and knew what conventional medicine would say about my “symptoms.” Underneath those fears, however, was a calm knowing that this wasn’t insanity, and if it was, could I have some more please?

What I went through was quite intense in the early days: violent shaking as I lay in bed in a fetal tuck; powerful electrical surges up my spine that jarred me so much I thought I’d get whiplash; the sudden appearance of angels and guides who spoke to me and were constantly with me; a voice gently directing me where to go and what to do; uncontrollable movements in my hands and arms that tired my wrists out; feelings of being in some other dimension, even while aware of this earth-bound reality; clarity regarding past emotional and mental challenges, released through a river of tears; an absolute awareness of the oneness of all humanity; and the list of heightened states goes on.

I recently came across a couple of books that might help, if you are experiencing a kundalini awakening. Some of the books have been around for quite a while, yet others are more recent. Transformational states are discussed in From Spiritual Emergency to Healing and Rebirth by Stanislav and Christina Grof. First published in 1989, this is a collection of writings by psychologists and spiritual teachers who understand the difference between madness and healing, and offer words of comfort and advice regarding how to manage these states.

A Sourcebook for Helping People with Spiritual Problems, by Emma Bragdon, discusses spiritual emergency/emergence and offers resources for support. There are other books which encourage the exploration of awakening the kundalini, but for those of you in the midst of the experience who are simply looking for a way to manage and calm its effects, these two are a great place to start.

Because this kundalini awakening is both exhilarating and sometimes frightening in its intensity, going it alone may not be the wisest option. While the tendency may be to isolate yourself because time to yourself is needed to integrate some of the wonderful things that are going on, it is nonetheless important to reach out to others with whom you can openly discuss what’s happening, especially if you are having difficulty managing your life. An online resource, the Spiritual Emergence Directory, may be of immediate assistance.

The awakening means that life can no longer be as it was before, which is actually a good thing. It just may take some time before you understand it for the true gift it is. That’s where a support system can help.


April 15-17, Austin
April 29-May 1, Houston

©Maria K. Benning, M.Ed.

HCC-Austin Chapter President


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